Trust Me

I’ve been awake on and off since 4:30 this morning.  My mind is jumbled, my emotions are conflicting, and it’s seems like all I can do is pray to help try to sort it out.

We took Shelby to Senior Day at SDSU yesterday. 

When I think about sending her to college I am conflicted.  There’s so much excitement, so much planning, so much fear…

I am so proud of the person she is.  She has a heart for God.  She is responsible.  She is compassionate towards others.  She is fun-hearted.  She knows right from wrong.  She understands commitment.  She has hope.

I am so worried about her being on her own.  I worry about her being scared.  I worry about someone taking advantage of her kindness.  I worry about her stumbling, and having to pick herself up. 

I worry about myself.  It terrifies me to think about the day we drop her off, and have to walk away.  I worry about how empty I will feel inside when she leaves this house.

As I pondered all of this and more (trust me that is the condensed version above) from 4:30 on, I realized I was using the words like worried, scared, afraid, and terrified a lot.  This is supposed to be such an exciting time in all of our lives.  Those aren’t the words I should be focusing on.  I need to put my focus on God and his amazing plan for Shelby.  His plan doesn’t include words like worried.  God tells us not worry about tomorrow because today has enough problems of its own.  He tells us He knows the plans for our future and they are for us to prosper.  He has planned great things for us.  He says do not be afraid for He is with us always.  He says to trust in Him always, and He will show us the right way. 

My answer, my peace, my source of rest was right there all along; trust me.  I have to put my trust in God.  I have to fully trust that He will take care of Shelby.  It doesn’t mean that life won’t be tough, and that it won’t be a struggle driving away that day in August.  It doesn’t mean that I won’t experience worries and fears; just that I have to turn them over to God.  I have to trust Him to take care of Shelby and my family.

It settles me down and brings my thoughts back to how amazing Shelby is.  It reminds me to pray that God will keep showing her and us the plans He has for her future.  It reminds me how important it is to pray each day that He gives us wisdom and guides us in the right direction.    

I think about how proud I am of her.