Finding the good in goodbye...

August 2013 was a month of goodbyes.  So bittersweet…  So much excitement and so much sadness all wrapped together.  With each passing day, we were one day closer to taking Shelby to college.  It’s a moment I have dreaded for years….wondering how I would ever survive saying goodbye.  As Shelby’s friends started leaving for college, it became more and more real that leaving for college was really happening….soon….

One of the first goodbyes for Shelby and her friends took place on a night that Shelby had to work at Target.  Her sweet friends visited her at work, so that she could be part of the goodbye.  They took photos and a friend posted them on Facebook under the album there is no good in goodbye.  The photos (a few are posted below) brought me to tears, as the reality of Shelby leaving suddenly, instantaneously, immediately, in this instant hit me…. her friends were leaving for school and she would leave soon, too.  At first, I totally agreed with album title there is no good in goodbye.  However, the longer I looked at the photos and thought about it, I decided I needed a change of perspective… I needed to find the good in goodbye. 

The search for the good in goodbye started simply with Shelby and her friends.  Shelby is blessed with amazing friends.  Goodbye wouldn’t hurt so badly, if they weren’t so amazing.  As a parent, I am so grateful for the tightknit group of friends Shelby developed throughout her high school years.  It may have taken them graduating for me to truly understand what a blessing they were in her life and in ours.  Goodbye is tough, especially when those you are leaving play such an integral part of your life.  I pray that they will remain friends for life.  The kind of friends that you can call at anytime regardless of how long it has been since you talked and it’s like nothing has changed.  The kind of friends where you hope when you grow up your kids are friends. 

My search continued.  I realized when you love someone unconditionally it’s hard to be sad when that someone is excited about what brings you tears.  Although nervous, Shelby was excited about starting college.  She was ready to start the next phase of her life.  It’s tough to think this next phase starts away from home...  without seeing her every day, taking care of whatever she needs help with, watching daily at how she deals with trial and triumph, and guiding her along.  My mind started wandering to how nothing in life stays the same.  Life is always changing; nothing stays stagnant.  Relationships are always growing and changing.  College is a time for our relationship to evolve. 

College is a time for Shelby to grow and change.  To take what we have taught her and apply it to life.  To choose what is most important to her.  To choose what she wants to be in this life.  While this is scary to think about, it’s also exciting.  It’s a time to trust that God will lead her and that she will follow.  When I get to this point, my perspective has changed, it makes life better.  God is good.  And there I have it….my search for the good in goodbye is over.  God is good.

My job as a parent is to trust…trust my daughter and trust in God.

AND……..Thanks to technology, Shelby is only a phone call, a text, an e-mail, a Facebook message, a Tweet, an Instagram, or a Facetime moment away :)